A client recently told me how exhausted they are.

They work relentlessly, always on, always available, always performing. Giving 100%, all the time. That approach has served them well: it’s what got them to a senior level and a recent promotion has now placed them right at the top.

Now something is shifting.

In  a recent coaching conversation, I gently suggested that the very behaviours that brought them here might no longer be what’s required. Not because they’re wrong, but because the context has changed.

At the top, working harder doesn’t automatically lead to greater impact. In fact, it can be counterproductive.

When roles become more senior, value is created less through effort and more through the quality of thinking, the clarity of focus, and the choices made about where to spend time and energy. Constant motion leaves little headspace for long-term thinking, perspective, or for shaping the impact you want to have. Proactivity requires space and ‘doing’ all the time rarely creates it.

And here’s another limit: no matter how capable you are, you can’t do everything alone. At this level, it's about getting stuff done through others rather than doing it yourself.

The leadership shift

As leaders move up the ladder, the challenges they give themselves evolve from ‘How can I be exceptional’ to ‘How can I create the conditions for others to be exceptional?’ Simply put, shifting from being the smartest person in the room to learning the skill of releasing other people’s intelligence: from doing and delivering, to enabling and shaping.

It’s a different skill set and for some, one that does not come easily. After all,  if your smarts got you to here, it's hard to let go and shift into releasing other people's brilliance.

Why letting go is hard

What makes this transition so challenging is that the behaviours we are being asked to loosen can be deeply tied to who we are. In coaching this shows up in many forms:

• The leader with a harsh inner critic who works harder and harder to prove their worth

• The charming, conflict-averse company director who has an overwhelming need to be liked and struggles to ask for what she needs or express herself authentically

• The client with a deep-seated need to be seen as capable who goes above and beyond in what they offer to others often depleting themselves

These patterns are rarely accidental, many start early in life and really can help us excel. And they work, until they don’t.

The problem isn’t the behaviour itself: what once propelled us forward and made us achieve might at some point get in the way of progression.

So. What to do?

No dramatic identity overhaul is required, in fact, the work is often quieter than people expect.

1. Notice and name

The first step is awareness. Acknowledge, with honesty and without judgement, that what got you here may not get you where you want to go next. Realising and naming this can be a powerful first step. You might even want to start with the question: Will what got me here, get me to where I want to go? What will be the benefits of continuing with ‘old’ and what might be the cost if I don’t change?

2. Experiment gently

It’s natural to hold tightly to what has served us well. Letting go isn’t easy. Be kind to yourself and take small steps. Explore. Test new ways of leading without forcing a complete change.

3. Reflect and integrate

Pay attention to what you notice when you try something different. How does it feel? What’s the impact? Celebrate what works and what doesn’t. Both are part of the learning.

A personal example

I’ll share one from my own work.

I’m a fast, systemic thinker. I see patterns and connections quickly and have often shared those insights with clients. It’s a skill that has been particularly valuable when working with senior leaders in complex environments.

Through my own Leadership Circle Profile (LCP), a leadership 360 tool I have recently certified in, I received feedback that echoed this very theme: what got you here won’t get you there.

The invitation from my colleagues and clients was to hold what I see more lightly. To speak less, create more space, and allow clients’ own insights to emerge before offering mine. It sounds simple, but it isn’t. It requires restraint, trust, and presence.

I’m aware of it. I’m experimenting with it. Sometimes I tell clients upfront that I’m working on this, which gives me permission and accountability. And interestingly, when I create that space, I often don’t need to add my insight at all. Clients arrive at their own truth.

And when I do share, it lands differently.

A final thought

Letting go of familiar patterns doesn’t mean losing your ambition, drive, or edge. It means evolving how those qualities are expressed.

At senior levels, impact is rarely about doing more. It’s about thinking better, choosing wisely, and creating the space for others to do their best work.

And that, too, is a skill worth learning.